Movie Quotes

I decided to make this a separate page because these are different in that they are here because they are well written or made me giggle. The first page was more sentimental. I love the simplicity and directness with which my brother sees life and those are my favorite quotes. Now, I also love the movies and have been reading thru movie quote sites. I have included my very favorites on the first page. There were too many good lines to ignore and I've provided links to some sites that have a decent collection. There are tons out there. My FAVORITE movies pages is still Elizabeth's Classic Movie Pages. Ok, one more thing. I have included movie quotes and some contain a bit of language (*'d but easy to read). I only have done this when I have thought the language would have lost all meaning without it. The Braveheart quote is the best example. Anyway, I wanted to put a warning because anyone that knows me knows that I'm a big fan of a clean mouth and that rarely do I find some words appropriate. Every once in awhile, a situation will appear. In Braveheart, well, I gotta give the guy a break, they were fighting for their lives and their opinions of the English were less than kind. Now, with that little warning, enjoy. Now, Pulp Fiction is a movie that is very well written, very funny (it is a comedy) and I really enjoyed it. BUT there's too much language to even really quote it without wearing out the * key. If you can stand a lot of language and look at the movie for what it is, you really should see it. I know those that HATE it and those that LOVE it. My brother-in-law refused to give me tickets because he "knew" it would offend me. At the same time, everyone that knew me, all my friends were like "You haven't seen Pulp Fiction? Of all people, you need to see it!" I haven't figured out exactly what that meant yet but I did find the movie funny. Violent and offensive but funny. Favorite scene is definitely the scene with Quentin Tarantino and the impending arrival of his wife from work. Anyway, no quotes here but I wanted to explain why.

Reel Classics - tons of links, photos, quotes and info! A must see for classic movie fans. :)

Movie Quotes lots and lots of quotes here but it's more of a quiz type site
Useless Movie Quotes (lots of good movies here)

``It's not the men in your life that counts, it's the life in your men.'' Mae West, ``I'm No Angel'' 1933.

Braveheart:

"I am William Wallace. And, I see a whole army of my country men, here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as freemen, and freemen you are. What will you do without freedom?! Will you fight?"
"No . . . we will run . . . and we will live."
"Aye. Fight and you may die. Run and you'll live, at least a while. And, dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade
all the days from this day to that for one chance -- just one chance -- to come back here and tell our enemies, that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!"

"You fight for me, you get to kill the English."
"Excellent! -Stephen replying to Wallace

"The Lord tells me he can get me out of the mess. But, he's pretty sure you're fu**ed." - Stephen

"I am William Wallace. And, the rest of you will be spared. Go back to England, and tell them there that Scotland's daughters and her sons are yours no more. Tell them Scotland is free!" -William Wallace

Airplane (weird movie to follow braveheart, i know)

Dr. Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: I can't tell .
Dr. Rumack: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, I mean, I'm just not sure.
Dr. Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Dr. Rumack: You can't take a guess "for another two hours"?
Capt. Clarence Oveur: No, no, no, I mean we can't land for another two hours.

Capt. Rex Kramer: Do you know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked, in the head, by an iron boot? Of course you don't--no one does--that never happens.

Dr. Rumack: Can you fly this plane and land it?
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Dr. Rumack: I am serious, and don't call me Shirley.

Operator: [I] have a emergency call for you on line five, from a Mr. Hamm.
Capt. Clarence Oveur: Alright, give me Hamm on five, hold the mayo.

Elaine Dickinson: You got a telegram from headquarters today.
Ted Striker: Headquarters--what is it?
Elaine Dickinson: Well, it's a big building where generals meet, but that's not important right now.

Randy: There's been a little problem in the cockpit, and I was . . .
Ted Striker: The cockpit--what is it?
Randy: It's the little room in the front of the plane where the pilots sit, but that's not important right now.

Dr. Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital--what is it?
Dr. Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.

Steve McCroskey: I want the best available man on this. A man who knows that plane inside and out. And, won't crack under pressure. Johnny: How 'bout Mr. Rogers?

Aliens

"Is this going to be a standup fight, sir, or another bughunt?" (Hudson)
"All we know that is there still is no contact with the colony, and that a xenomorph may be involved." (Gorman)
"Excuse me sir, a what?" (Frost)
"A xenomorph."
"It's a bughunt". (Hicks)

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

" [W]hat you're telling me, essentially, is that Napoleon was a short, dead dude?" teacher

Ted "Theodore" Logan: Bill, my friend.
Bill S. Preston, Esq.: Yes? Ted, my friend.
Ted "Theodore" Logan: This has been a most excellent adventure.

"[O]ne thing I know is that Joan of Arc is not Noah's wife." Bill
"Well then, who is Noah's wife?"

"[T]he only true wisdom consists of knowing that you know nothing." Bill

"[T]hanks to great leaders, such as Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, and Socratic method . . . the world is full of history." Ted

Breakfast Club

John Bender: What do you guys do in your club?
Brian Johnson: In physics we, uh, we talk about physics, uh, properties of physics.
John Bender: So it's sorta social, demented and sad, but social. Right?

John Bender: Hey, how come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up . . . we'll all get up . . . it'll be anarchy!

John Bender: I wanna be just like you. I figure, all I need is a lobotomy, and some tights.
Brian Johnson: You wear tights?
Andrew Clark: No, I don't wear tights. I wear the required uniform.
Brian Johnson: Tights.
Andrew Clark: Shut up!

John Bender: [B]rian, this is a very nutritious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian Johnson: Uh, no, Mr. Johnson.

John Bender: Screws just fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.

Richard Vernon: What was that ruckus?!
Andrew Clark: Uh, what ruckus?
Richard Vernon: I was just in my office and heard a ruckus.
Brian Johnson: Could you describe the ruckus, sir.

John Bender: Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

Richard Vernon: False alarms are really funny, aren't they. What if your home, what if your family . . . what if your dope was on fire?
John Bender: Impossible, sir. It's in Johnson's underwear.

Andrew Clark: This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. You realize you made yourself sixty-eight.
Brian Johnson: Oh, I know, I know. I goofed it.
Andrew Clark: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
Brian Johnson: So I can vote!

Brian Johnson: Chicks cannot hold their smoke, that's what it is.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"I do have a test today, that wasn't bullsh**. It's on European Socialism. I mean, really, what's the point? I'm not European. I don't plan on being European. So, who gives a crap if they're Socialists? They could be fascist anarchists, it still wouldn't change the fact that I don't own a car."

" Ferris, my father loves this car more than life itself." Cameron.
"A man with priorities so far out of whack doesn't deserve such a fine automobile." Ferris

"Ferris Bueller, you're my hero."

Die Hard with a Vengence
Ok, I love the die hard movies, language and all. Bruce Willis is great of course but what really stands out about the 3rd Die Hard is Samuel L. Jackson.

"That's a white man, with white problems. You deal with him. Call me when he crosses 110th street." Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus Carver

McClain: "Have I oppressed you?! Have I oppressed your people somehow?! I'll tell you what your problem is, you don't like me 'cause you're a racist!
Carver: "What?!"
McClain: "You're a racist! You don't like me 'cause I'm white."
Carver: "I don't like you because you're gonna get me killed."

"Not to get to personal, but a white man standing in the middle of Harlem, wearing a sign that says, "I hate n****rs," has either got some serious personal issues or not all his dogs are barking." Samuel L. Jackson as Zeus Carver

Good Morning Vietnam
saw this in the theatre and loved it!! another one where there was a lot of language (not nearly as much as Pulp Fiction). Here are some clean quotes :)

"We originally wanted Bob Hope. But, it turns out he won't come."
"Why not?"
"He doesn't play police actions, just wars. Bob likes a big room, sir."

"[S]ometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun."

"[D]on't say that the weather is the same all the time here, because it's not. In fact, it's two degrees cooler today than yesterday."
"Two degrees cooler . . . me without my muff."

"Seeing as how the V.P. is such a V.I.P. shouldn't we keep the P.C. on the Q.T. 'cause if it leaks to the V.C. he could become a M.I.A. and then we'd all be put out on K.P."

Jerry Maguire
major sentimental attachment to this movie. watched it while I was in labor and decided to finish the movie before I went to the hospital. : )
LOVE Cuba Gooding, Jr. Actually watched Chill Factor the other night and thought he and Skeet Ulrich were very funny together.

Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rob Tidwell: Do you love this black man?
Jerry Maguire: I love the black man! Show me the money!
Rob Tidwell: I love black people.
Jerry Maguire: I love black people!
(couple more lines that i decided to censor, if you've seen the movie, you know the scene, if you haven't you're either too young or missing a great movie :)
Rob Tidwell: What you gonna do, Jerry?
Jerry Maguire: Show me the money!
Rob Tidwell: Congratulations, you're still my agent.

"I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game--featuring you--while singing your own song in a new commercial--starring you--broadcast during the Superbowl in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens. I'll give you fifteen minutes to call me back." Jerry Maguire

Jurassic Park

"When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked."
"Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail
would have to copy the entire script to get all the funny lines but here are a few :) To really enjoy it, you have to hear my brother Conor recite them, he even knows the whole parrot skit! Don't have that here but it's funny. Lumber Jack Song. Oh and the song in Meaning of Life....love them. Also watch Fawlty Towers! Favorite episode is either Basil the Rat, the Germans, or Hotel Inspectors. Tho the builders is really funny too. Can ya tell I like Monty Python?

King Arthur: [W]hat are you then?
French Soldier: I'm French. Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king.
Sir Galahad: What are you doing in England?
French Soldier: Mind your own business.

King Arthur: The swallow may fly south with the sun, or the house martin or the plover seek warmer climes in winter, yet these are not strangers to our land.
Soldier: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

King Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
The Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
King Arthur: A scratch?! Your arm's off.
The Black Knight: No it isn't.
King Arthur: Then what's that then.
The Black Knight: I've had worse.

Monk: And the Lord spoke, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out! Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thou foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

The Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that.
King Arthur: You'll what?
The Black Knight: Come here.
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
The Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: You're a loony.

The Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You're indeed brave sir knight, but the fight is mine.
The Black Knight: Oh, had enough, aye?
King Arthur: Look you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
The Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
The Black Knight: Just a flesh wound.

Princess Bride
saw this in the theatre several times. Love it. The book is even better!!!!

Westley: As you wish.

Vizzini: Inconceivable.
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means, what you think it means.

Vizzini: Am I going mad, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Vizzini: When I found you, you were so slobbering drunk you couldn't buy brandy. And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless. Do you want me to send you back to where you were, unemployed . . . in Greenland?

Vizzini: Probably some local fisherman out for a pleasure cruise, at night, through eel-infested waters.

Vizzini: No more rhymes, now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?

Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope, or a tree branch, or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have got some rope up here. But, I do not think that you would accept my help, since I am only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.

Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't, by any chance, happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?

Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am.
Westley: Then why are you smiling?
Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know.
Westley: And, what is that?
Inigo Montoya: I am not left handed.

Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know.
Westley: Get used to disappointment.

Fezzik: Why do you wear a mask? Were you burned by acid, or something like that?
Westley: Oh no. It's just they're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

Vizzini: You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is: "Never get involved in a land war in Asia."
But, only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!"

Westley: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.
Vizzini: Wait 'til I get going!

Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Westley: It's not that bad . . . well, I'm not saying I'd like to build a summer home here, but the trees are actually quite lovely.

Westley: My brains, his steal, and your strength, against 60 men. And, you think a little head jiggle is supposed to make me happy?

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean this gate key.

Westley: We are men of action, lies do not become us.

Westley: "To the pain," means the first thing you lose will be your feet below the ankles, then your hands at the wrists, next your nose.
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my tongue I suppose. I killed you too quickly the last time; a mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
Westley: I wasn't finished. The next thing you lose will be your left eye, followed by the right . . .
Prince Humperdinck: And, then my ears, I understand. Let's get on with it.
Westley: Wrong! Your ears you keep, and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out: "Dear God, what is that thing?" will echo in your perfect ears. That is what "to the pain" means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery, forever.

Saving Arizona....this movie became funnier after I'd been held up. Probably because after the robbers left, my friend and co-worker (now brother in law) recited this line. As well as the one where the clerk says something like "Son, you got a panty on your head."

Gale: Alright, you hayseeds! It's a stickup! Everybody freeze. Everybody down on the ground.
Man: Well, which is it young fellah? You want I should freeze, or get down on the ground? I mean to say, if'n I freeze, I can't rightly drop. And, if'n I drop, I'm gonna be in motion.

Sneakers

Erwin "Whistler" Emory: I want peace on earth and good will toward men.
Bernard Abbott: We are the United States Government. We don't do that sort of thing.

Top Secret! (ok, i've only seen the edited version of this movie. and it was like 2 am. I remember cracking up with my sisters....whether it was that funny or we were slappy happy due to exhaustion, here are a couple of quotes....the funniest part I remember isn't a quote but a scene where Val Kilmer sets a bunch of bicycles free like they were horses in an old western...ok, it's a campy movie. Only 2 quotes).

Nick Rivers: I'm not the first guy who fell in love with a girl he met in a restaurant, who then turned out to be the daughter of a kidnapped scientist, only to lose her to a childhood lover who she's last seen on a deserted island, and who turned out fifteen years later to be the leader of the French Underground.
Hillary Flammond: I know. It, it all sounds like some bad movie.

Nick Rivers: I really don't know any German. Hillary Flammond: That's alright, I know a little German--he's sitting over there.

High Society
my favorite old musical, Bing and Grace, what more could you want? With Frank thrown in and a little Louis Armstrong. Great great movie!

"The time to make up your mind about people is never." -- Tracy Lord
"Isn't it time for your milk and arsenic, darling?" --as Tracy Lord
"I couldn't possibly break down, Mr. Connor. I was born on a pedestal." --as Tracy Lord

Bringing Up Baby
Why can't they make movies like this anymore????

"When a man is wrestling a leopard in the middle of a pond, he's in no position to run." --as David Huxley

"Well you look perfectly idiotic in those clothes!"

Assorted Cary Grant lines....

"When I find myself in a position like this, I ask myself, "What would General Motors do?" and then I do the opposite!" --as Johnny Case in HOLIDAY

"You were lovely of form and face, but I had a feeling that if a gnat dove into your pool of knowledge, he'd break his neck." --as Pat O'Toole in ONCE UPON A HONEYMOON.

"My dear mother-in-law, I have not lost my temper with you for seven years. Don't trifle with your luck." --as Barnaby Fulton in MONKEY BUSINESS.

"You're only old when you forget you're young." --as Barnaby Fulton in MONKEY BUSINESS.

"I never know in advance when I'm going to be a genuis." --as Barnaby Fulton in MONKEY BUSINESS.

"School's open again. Professor Robie will now conduct a lesson on bad manners and how to get a spanking fast." --as John Robie in TO CATCH A THIEF

"Do women think it feminine to be so illogical or can't they help it?" --as Peter Joshua/ Alexander Dyle/ Adam Canfield/ Brian Cruikshank in CHARADE (1963).

Fred Astaire Lines:

"There's a fellow who won't take 'Yes' for an answer." --as Tom Bowen in ROYAL WEDDING.
"I neva had no mudda. We was too poor." --as Tom Bowen in ROYAL WEDDING. "I always smile when I'm heart-broken." --as Tom Bowen in ROYAL WEDDING.

"Read a book sometime. It might improve your brain." --as Bert Kahlmer in THREE LITTLE WORDS.

One of the most famous older movie scenes:

Hawkins: I've got it! I've got it! The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!Right?
Griselda: Right. But there's been a change: they broke the chalice from the palace!
Hawkins: They broke the chalice from the palace?
Griselda: And replaced it with a flagon.
Hawkins: A flagon...?
Griselda: With the figure of a dragon.
Hawkins: Flagon with a dragon.
Griselda: Right.
Hawkins: But did you put the pellet with the poison in the vessel with the pestle?
Griselda: No!!! The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon! The vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true!
Hawkins: The pellet with the poison's in the flagon with the dragon; the vessel with the pestle has the brew that is true.
Griselda: Just remember that.

-the Court Jester with Danny Kaye

"You're happy for the wrong reasons and that's the same as being lonely and miserable except it's worse." --as Phil Davis in WHITE CHRISTMAS (1954).

"My dear partner, when what's left of you gets around to what's left to be gotten, what's left to be gotten won't be worth getting, whatever it is you've got left." --as Phil Davis in WHITE CHRISTMAS (1954).